Wake Up, Little Sparrow.

It's days like these that have a bittersweet taste to your view of the world.
It's the end of normality, nothing left to fight for there. Everyone was just a gameplayer and I guess the game ended out of ... well lets say, there were other enticing games. I wonder if he truly has been getting real help or whether he's bluffing. Not sure as to his reasons why he doesn't want me in his life. But that's okay now, I know what I've got to do. And I will make a promise that if things go sour, I will indeed humiliate him. I sound like Blair Waldorf here, but that's basically the gaming life she led too.

Anyway, about my day. I got persuaded to go out with my mother for a while. She thinks I should smile, be happy and that I will draw more of that towards me. If only she knew what a mother should never know. And that's the thing, how am I going to tell her? And explain the word "terminate." It's harsh, cold and tough. I guess I don't have guts anymore. I love her dearly, but she's even noticed that I'm happier and stuff when we were away... so why can't she help me? Why can't I be more receptive? The ironic thing she said though, she was saying how maybe we should move away, she was joking of course.. But hey, little does she know what is best. She never did my whole life, or even before she took those vows to marry into such a guilty pleasure.

We just went a few places she wanted to go. Nothing big, bought some stuff she wanted to buy, and well, it was sunny and warm-ish so at least I got to go out for a little while. The one thing that's left to do, is the one thing I'm afraid to do. And I don't even have a reason as to why I'm afraid. I know I don't believe in my future, so, well I need to force myself. Force. That's the word.

prêt-à-porter.